Sunday, 10 May 2015

Can I put my feet up today....it is Sunday the day of rest after all!!!

Lay ins don't exist anymore, all parents know that. But at least you'd expect a peaceful night before....
I feel like this blog so far has been expressing the negatives and absolutely no positives on how the children behave. But lately it's been crackers and I'm just being truthful. I know I'm not the only one out there dealing with the ups and downs of parenting. I find it challenging, tiring, fun, exciting and hard all at the same time. But however hard it is, I wouldn't change it for the world because it is my job to help and guide my children through life until they are old enough to decide what's right and wrong for themselves, and hopefully my parenting skills really pay off then. 
Had a lovely day out yesterday round Luke's nans, all day Grace played with her cousin Lou, and Lucas followed them around playing and running and having fun. They ate and drank plenty and were non stop all day, Lucas even missed his nap and I was hoping the car journey home before 7pm would send him off to sleep!!
I want to explain the tantrum we endeavoured half hour before we left, and this wasn't a Lucas tantrum, this was a full scale 6 year old tantrum and it was a shocker for everyone to witness! Great nanny Anne couldn't believe her eyes, but least everyone got to see the wrath of Grace, haha, because when we usually explain she's been naughty, deep down I don't think anyone truly believes us!! 
Well Lou had been feeling a little poorly and was getting tired, and Grace wanted a sleepover. As Lou wasn't feeling great, Anne was worried she'd have to take her home, but Grace was persistent and went on and on until she went into a full scale melt down and began screaming the house down, throwing her weight around (albeit, not much) but she was like a madam possessed and was hitting and screaming and basically just making a complete show of herself. I'm always calm during wobblers and try to reason but these tantrums are all happening more often then not and its all down to being spoilt and getting her own way far to much. 
Children need discipline, they need rules regardless of what they think. Luke is the cool parent, the one who comes home with a sweet, a magazine or some sort of treat. When he gets paid he always buys her some toy she doesn't need but says she wants and this has spiralled out of control because she demands something all the time. And when Iv called Luke to say she's been naughty before school he's offered her a gift to do as she's told. And although that's all well and good in his eyes, job done, she's getting ready. She's basically worked out she's being rewarded for being naughty and then gets a treat for being good. I quickly got annoyed by this on one particular day so I said to Luke, 'no she doesn't get a treat for getting ready for school, she gets ready for school because she has too' this is the main source of arguements between us!
He's learnt this now, finally! Only because she's beginning to be rude to him and being aggressive when she doesn't get her own way. 
I'm not concerned about her behaviour because I know it's a phase and she is such a loving girl most of the time. She's just learning right from wrong, and so is her daddy with the gift situation as bribery for good behaviour!
It doesn't work. And this tantrum she had round her nans was unacceptable. And all the way home she was a total madam. Good job Lucas went to sleep I thought. But we got home and the crying stopped and she went to her room and played and apologised for her behaviour and went to bed earlier then normal, so tiredness was a major factor for the tantrum too!
But Lucas shortly woke up once we got in, and he screamed and cried for 2 hours, he was relentless! I always have an answer to why he's playing up, 'he must have belly ache, he's over tired' Luke says it's because he's being like Grace, trying to get his own way by going down stairs at bedtime! 
I didnt even have time to shower today, gross I know, but I lost interest in going down to watch TV with Luke, he didn't even call me down like he normally does! He said this morning I let you sleep because you needed it, I reckon it's because he didn't want to spend the evening listening to me moan! Haha! 
This morning all is good on the Bowden front. Grace and her dad are sorting out the house and I am chilling on the settee with a sleepy Lucas! 
Although I think I should take a shower! 

Friday, 8 May 2015

Bedtime routine, no such thing...well for me anyway!!

It's getting later and later, the cartoons on the TV seem to be getting louder and louder and my patience is simply wearing thin usually by end of the day! You think bedtimes drawing near, time to relax, well, think again Becca! Haha!
I always go through a stage of sticking with the routine, and for a short while the kiddly winks will go along with it but this never usually lasts the week and either I am to tired to bath them or Grace refuses to bath because she'll say 'I had one yesterday' and that's it, the routine is down the pan! 
In my head I always think 7.30, bathed and in bed by 7.30!! I'll lay with them both and they'll go to sleep like little angels but it never happens. Grace will announce she's not going bed because she's watching the end of a cartoon, or she needs a drink or the toilet! Lucas won't lay with me because he'll be screaming 'Grace, Dad, down' it's literally over an hour of madness! 
Sometimes Luke will settle Lucas, il settle Grace and vice versa and this sometimes works, but it's rare, and it's never straightforward. 
Without fail there are tears and tantrums at bedtime. 
Grace always wants mummy cuddles bless her when Luke goes to settle her, and daddy cuddles when I'm with her. 9 times out of 10 we give in and do what she wants because we don't like to go bed on a bad note, so however much it frustrates us knowing she's playing a game we never refuse a cuddle, and if we dare do her screaming starts. 
Oh it's tiring just writing this, but it's the truth and it's bloody hard. 
I'm ready for bed before this process even begins at the best of times, and if by luck Grace goes sleep first and I'm left to settle Lucas, Luke will shout up 'Bec you've been up there an hour and a half, you coming down or going bed?' in my head I'm in bed, asleep already, settled for the night by 9pm!! But either his calling up the stairs has woken Lucas by now and I'm back to square one, or I slowly put Lucas down in his cot (because really we've both been asleep for half hour) and I feel mean so go down to watch TV with Luke. But when I go down, without fail, Luke ends up going sleep himself. Haha! 
It's hilarious how crazy our life is, it is absolutely non stop from 6am to 10pm most nights. 
I would expect to weigh less then I actually do because I never seem to rest, but hey ho! Haha! 
Be glad when they are both at the age they take themselves off to bed! What age is that again??? Haha!
 

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Ever get the feeling your being rushed!

Went for lunch with my sister and Lucas yesterday. I knew it was gonna be a quick lunch taking a 21 month old with us but didn't realise just how quick. 
Moral of this story, don't ever wake a sleeping baby for lunch, especially as a) hes not going to be that hungry anyway if he's tired and b) he has a tendency to despise high chairs at the best of times so this trip isn't going to be the most relaxing! 
Well why didn't I say this to myself yesterday beforehand, I was silly enough to wake him, 'Lucas want some lunch' in a high pitch baby voice! 
He wasn't interested in lunch, he was interested in running riot, banging spoons  on the table and screaming, and eating definitely wasn't on his agenda, not even icecream was good enough to keep him entertained, haha! 
The thing is I don't get angry, I feel abit flustered and sometimes embarrassed but never angry. At the end of the day I don't get annoyed when someone's child is screaming in a restaurant as I have children and know the drill, it's those people that haven't got kids or have forgot what kids are like that seem to stare at you in that way that says, keep your child quiet. He makes me laugh so much and I'm constantly talking about him even when he's with me. I love him, and all his tantrums! 
Ok, ok, maybe not all of his tantrums. Our lunch was cut very short so we went back home and he didn't sleep at all on the car journey home so I knew the later it got the later he was going to go bed that night, and the louder he was going to get (as he gets very irritable when he's tired) well world war III erupted the 2nd we got back, my sweet little baby boy went absolutely crazy. He was screaming and flapping round the front room like a fish out of water. He was throwing everything in site and bashing his face on the floor in temper. (Doesn't get it from me I tell you) he eventually went to sleep when he finally let me hold him, and looking all red, sweaty and flustered like I felt 2 hours earlier, he went sleep for 3 hours! Lucky for some!
I Picked Grace up from school, and surprisingly she was happy, probably because she never had to go dancing (another hobby she's refused to continue with in her protest to be in control of her own life). She says 'it's my life and I don't want a hobby, you can't make me do something I don't like'. Problem is I know she loves dancing and she is excellent at swimming, it's such ashame she's gave it up all because she just wants to 'be in control' of her life! Haha! 
Anyway Luke came to meet us at my parents. Whenever he comes home the noise level drastically rises, like a bunch of wild animals playing, they all scream and mess about and 9 times out of 10 someone ends up crying! But to them quiet and cuddles aren't an option, when daddy's home it's a game of who can be the loudest! 
But I got a little surprise when he arrived, (he's not a romantic) but he had brought me flowers, beautiful red roses, my dad answered and said 'Luke's done something wrong' haha! I thought that myself, my first reaction was 'were they on sale at the train station' sound soooo ungrateful. They were a lovely surprise and I was very happy to have got them. Made my day! 😀
I'm writing this today after a lovely trip to Rayleigh with my sister and Lucas, we had a walk up the high street first as Lucas was asleep in the buggy, even though we was going to stop for tea and scones, I suggested we nosey round the shops first and end with tea and scones! Why did I even think that was a good idea, the 2nd we arrived in the tea shop, little eyes opened and had a repeat performance of yesterday. Lunch out will never be the same again, haha! 

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Meet the family

This is a typical day in the Bowden house hold. 
Grace throws a daily wobbler (a phase I hope she'll grow out of quickly) always complaining of feeling sick, headache, sore throat, bad foot! 😀 you name it Grace has got it. Shes absolutely beautiful, long legs, curly blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, she thinks she's older then 6 but she's still my baby, and very clever and amazing at reading at writing but right now she's master at manipulation, playing me and her dad off against each other! 
Lucas, (where is Lucas) oh he is climbing the settee, going up the stairs, opening the washing machine door, he's here there and everywhere and feel like I have to lay crash mats everywhere in order for him not to get hurt. He's adorable with his blonde almost curly hair and beautiful blue eyes also, but by god he is a pickle at the same time! It's exhausting just watching him!
And my 3rd child, (did I say 3rd child) I mean my husband Luke! I haven't told him I'm going to create a blog yet, he's on his way home from work, a long 10 hour shift as a welder and I'm going to let him read this as soon as he's in! Not sure how he'll feel, probably say (your gonna be writing instead of talking to me now)!
He knows I love him and we are very happy, but it's not been easy and trying to watch game of thrones without an interruption from the kids who are meant to be asleep is proving to be quite tricky! I love to write, i have wrote plenty of complaint letters and parking fine appeals for luke and myself,and I love it!
It gives me a feeling of importance because other then being a mum and wife, I do miss being myself too! Me and Luke have been together 10 years this year and married for 6 months. (I know, took our time hey)We have been through a lot over the 10 years but have come out the other side and have a beautiful family to proudly show for it. But it's hard work with 2 children and a hubby to share my time with, especially as I don't even have time for myself. 
I love them all dearly and can't wait to write about them.